An Ode to Alcohol

14 years

September 13, 2026 will mark my 14-year anniversary of working towards total abstinence from all things alcohol. Not gonna lie...I miss you, Jack and Jim. I miss you, Maker’s. Oh, how I long for you, Crown. The sight of you boys still makes my heart swoon, but, alas, we cannot be together for i act like an absolute dreg of the earth when you pollute my system.

So…at any rate…here’s to you, my brownish-hued, vomit-inducing, coping mechanisms.  A “cheers” to you, my faithful, fuzzy, funny vices.  

For you were there – stowed away in my cabinet…or tucked gingerly under my arm…or gripped tightly beneath my lizard-like fingers…or haphazardly thrown beneath the passenger seat…or seated inches away from any given barstool –

…always there…

…loving me…

…especially in the moments when i couldn’t love myself.  

I loved you well, and, therefore, i shall miss you all the more. 

Nevertheless, i’m not that person anymore, and there’s really no choice in the matter. I can never again be that make-up smeared, loose-dancing, senseless chattering gal with whom you were so accustomed to rendezvousing.   Now i must be a toddler-tunes-singing, horrible dancing, confident-speaking gal who approaches life with a newfound sense of integrity. 

I venture to say integrity feels even better than that comforting sense of warmth you used to envelope me with on nights out.  

So take care, alcohol.  See you…never.